Exclusivity vs. Inclusiveness

Does a rich man feel lonely in his mansion?

I’m doing my best to find out!

A lot of you know that I’m mostly uncomfortable with putting my personal business out there on the Internet; it’s one of the reasons I don’t do “social media.” Yeah, if you go back and look at this blog over the past 20 years, you will find posts where I show my whole ass, but it’s usually in relation to some global event or trend. Right now, i have no idea what’s going on in the world. I came across something about a shooting in Australia or something but didn’t look into it and don’t care, frankly. RIP to the victims, “thoughts and prayers,” whatever…

Anyway, this is feeling like a public diary entry, and that’s apropos to the topic at hand: the battle between introversion and extroversion, between chillin’ like Bob Dylan on an exclusive private beach or wilin’ out on a public beach with the hoi polloi. What follows is a bit personal but potentially of interest to the general public so here goes:

I’m posting this from a private beach, the nicest beach I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve seen some nice ones. I’m here 24/7, vibing to the sound of the waves. I put my feet in the moist, black volcanic sand and play in the surf whenever I want, and the water temperature is perfect. I’ve not seen one piece of garbage in the water. The surf is better than I’ve seen anywhere, not a single rock, even a nice, smooth round one that bumps but doesn’t gash you should you catch a wave and eat earth at the end of your ride. A wonderful breakfast arrives as if by magic each morning. There are exotic and lovely flowers and birds. Only a few lucky people share this beach; it’s private, exclusive.

But that’s the problem. I think I prefer the social beach experience. All those days at Coromuel in La Paz were so… social. I met people, normal people, working people and befriended some of them. There was music. There was food (that I didn’t cook and wasn’t served to me on a schedule). It was free, wide open to the public and inclusive, not fancy or “elite” in any way, but a breathtakingly beautiful beach open to everyone nevertheless.

The “problem” I’m facing here in El Salvador after one week is that I’m experiencing exclusivity… and not really liking it even though this beach is objectively superior to the private beach at the Ritz in Kapalua — and a hell of a lot less expensive.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not complaining, just thinking. My gratitude is boundless. It’s just that this is a new experience for me and one that is both perfectly aligned with the introverted “twin” who is happy to read and write and contemplate his navel for days on end while anathema to the extroverted “twin” who happily presses the flesh with billionaires and hobos alike. It’s tough out here for a Gemini, man. We’re always at home and never at home.

Intuition informs me that I’m going to make incredible friends here… but how do I meet them? Are they lurking in the few other bungalows and haciendas enjoying this very experience, or do I need to venture out to other, more publicly available beaches? There seem to be plenty within a mile or two.

The wrath of my own independence bears down as well. I’m not generally susceptible to loneliness, preferring my own company most of the time, yet willing to take others along for the ride or to ride with them. But I’m really feeling the lack of a companion right now, like all of this would be better with a best friend, confidant, and lover. I suppose this is a result of ending a 20+ year partnership recently. Then again, if she were here, she’d be annoying me, killing my buzz, and ruining it for me as usual so… growing pains? A necessary respite from guaranteed company? A chance to reconnect with myself in a profound way? I’ll go with that.

It has only been a week, but I haven’t made a single friend other than the dueña. This is probably the longest I’ve ever gone in my life without bringing a single person into my orbit. It’s a little strange, but I’ll just go with it for now.

We’ll end it on a positive note: I have been writing, cooking yummy food, playing my guitar, and flowing nicely at my day job. 24/7 wave action does that to a person, no matter how thick or jovial the crowd.

Peace,

Chuck