Why Do Rednecks Hate Mexicans?

Posted: Dec. 5, 2020, 10:56 p.m.
You think you love trucks, Jethro? You got nothin' on Paco.

First of all, when I say, "rednecks," I don't mean all rednecks, and I don't mean just the ones from south of the Mason-Dixon line. There are plenty of rednecks in Queens, NY -- you know, the Archie Bunkers of the world. I'm talmbout white people whose necks turn red after a hard day's work in the hot sun, wherever they may be and whatever accent with which they speak English only.

Let me just put it out there and say this: Dudes, these guys from south of the border are your natural allies. They are just like you except that their necks turn brown instead of red after a hard day's work, and they speak a little bit of your language in addition to their own. They also know how to fix their own trucks. You should not only not be hating on them, you should be inviting them into your communities and homes. Your nemesis is Boss Hogg, not Chicho from Guadalajara.

What do rednecks from Brownsville to Yellowknkife love? What are redneck ideals?

It's about huntin' and fishin' and fixin' shit. It's about God and family. It's about workin' hard and makin' your way in the world honestly, isn't it? It's about respecting your roots and your country, your food and your music, your great grand daddy's great grand daddy, innit?

Well, let me tell you something. These brown necks are the redneck's redneck. When I look around at people here in Mexico, I see ass-busting trabajo all day long and playful, tender time with family and friends at night. They marry young, make babies, and stick around to raise those babies. When I look at the average working-class mexicano, I see the alpha redneck ideal in action.

You want fishin' and huntin'? Try reeling in a 300-pound Marlin or tracking down a 15-foot crocodile and shooting that prehistoric putamadre dead.

You want trucks? Shee-it. I've seen more badass trucks in the past week in Mexico than I have in the past decade in the US. These Mexican brown necks love them some trucks.

These people work their asses off, keep the Lord's day holy (I love Sundays here -- most businesses close like when I was a kid, and people go to church in the morning and hang out with their families in the afternoon), and "party hearty" the night before.

They embody and live the values that the rednecks tout with the volume turned up to 11.

So why you hatin' on Mexicans, bro? Jealous?

I mean, Mexico is Mexico and Alabama is Alabama and Alberta is Alberta and so on, but we're all fckin AMERICANS, ese. More than that, we're all human beings. Having seen a little bit of this world and made a point of staying put and trying to get to know people, I can say for certain that we all want the same things: we want to work hard and feel satisfied, raise the next generation right, enjoy our down time, and live in peace. Gringos, Mexicanos, Koreans, Africans, Europeans, Haitians, Indians and Pakistanis -- we all want the same simple things, bro!.

As for me, I don't care what God you pray to or what national anthem brings tears to your eyes. All I care is that you're a kind person who only wants to live a decent life and doesn't want to fck with anybody else. Is that so much to ask?

So stop hatin' on Mexicans, rednecks. They're your natural allies. If you're gonna hate on anybody (which I don't recommend), hate on Boss Hogg; that fool has been robbing you blind since before you were born, and I mean that literally.