Thank you, Mexico

Posted: Jan. 25, 2021, 8:54 a.m.
After a bit of a rudderless period, I finally have some air in my sails and a float plan.

(The Internet connection at this place in Cabo is terrible and won't allow me to upload a photo, but I want to get this post up before I leave. Check back later if you want to see it with the pic.)

It has been a while since I sat down with the intention of writing a blog post for all the world to see. My paper journal is filled with all sorts of good stuff, but it's not the kind of material intended for the world to see or for the AI/Beast to ingest, at least not yet. I'll probably blog some of that at some point but for now it's mainly personal.

I'm back in Cabo at the same hotel as last time and halfway tempted to turn tail and go back to La Paz. Cabo feels like New York in the sun with everybody hustling for those gringo dollars all the time. It's noisy and chaotic, even on a Sunday afternoon. I guess this is a good way to taper out of the warm, sunny dream and into cold reality. Last week we had three rainy days in a row which is apparently pretty rare around here so I guess the Universe is conspiring to make the transition back to the big cold city a smooth one.

My mind and heart are running hard in a million different directions right now, often conflicting with one another. I'm exhausted after spending the past couple of days saying my goodbyes to my good new friends and enjoying the last of our time (this time) together. I'm excited to get back "home" in a way, looking forward to hanging out with my wife and cat, a good slice of pizza, and even -- I suppose -- the snow and cold.

Oh SHIT NO -- who am I trying to kid about that! The prevailing emotion about going "home" is dread, and the secondary emotion is some kind of bittersweet happy/sad mixture; I don't think there is a word for it. If you have read back a ways in my blog, you can probably see that my mental and emotional state have done a 180-degree turn. Anger, depression and hopelessness have been replaced with a deep sense of peace and joy and a certainty that everything will work out for me personally and for the world at large.

So I'm leaving a warm, sunny place where smiles and laughter are plentiful and going back to a cold, snowy place where everyone is masked up all the time and paranoid because they watch TV news and live their lives on antisocial media. So what? I've got enough momentum. I got this. My heart will light up New York City like the sun as soon as I get out of quarantine no matter how damn cold it is or how fearful and pathetic people have become.

[Funny coincidence -- just got a text from my wife begging me not to go out and find a place to watch the Bills game because "that's how people catch Covid." If only she knew... ;-)]

Just got back from watching that game. The Bills lost. What else is new under the sun.

I've seen my last Mexican sunset for a while, and it was a great one. Cabo really does have incredible, intense energy. It's like NYC + sun - a lot of stuff, good and bad. I'm glad I came back here. The people in my Cabo rounds from last time I was here recognize me which is flattering considering all the gringos who pass through here. Tomorrow I'll eat my last Mexican breakfast (for a while) at my favorite little hut in a kind family's yard. I'm sure they will remember me.

It's not magical like La Paz was, for me, anyway. I really hope La Paz doesn't end up like Cabo. It's a great place but you should probably stay away because it's a total war zone. I was dodging bullets almost from the moment I arrived. Seriously, Americans, stay away from La Paz! For most of you, the magic will not be worth the incredible danger. /s

The biggest gift from this month of convivial vibing with nature and people was clarity. I know what my life is about now and what I must do.

My course is set. Whether my home port ends up being Bayside, NY or somewhere warm, my family is the great and glorious brotherhoood of humanity, and we will be together. I know now that the human spirit is strong and resilient and built for love and joy, and it will persist and thrive no matter what kind of bullcrap those jerks pump through TV. Reality is far higher def than any screen, and once you've seen it, you can't unsee it, and you will want more.

Thank you, Mexico. You have given me my life back. I will be back, maybe soon depending on how things go.

Ready or not, New York City (you big beautiful b****), here I come!