About Me

Why is "I am ____" such a hard blank to fill in, well, for me, anyway?

felfie

Quoting Whitman and saying, "I am large.  I contain multitudes."  seems more than a bit pretentious, but it is the truth in answer to the above question: That blank is tough for me to fill in because I am a lot of things.  Everyone I know is a lot of things.  Maybe that answer is difficult for everyone, or maybe most people don't realize that they are large and contain multitudes so they're happy to pigeonhole themselves by filling in the blank with some easily digestible, truncated, cutesy answer that they think an employer/client/friend will like.

Not my style.  That's a really important thing to know about me if you want to know about me (which you do if you're reading this page): I don't do pigeonholes.  One thing I am not is a pigeon, though I think they're fine birds in limited quantity.  I don't pigeonhole myself intellectually, emotionally, professionally, politically or in any other way as most people seem to do. 

If I am both a liberal and a conservative, am I either, neither, or both?  If I am both compassionate and harsh (because sometimes the truth hurts), am I either, neither, or both?

Professionally, you could say I'm a programmer.  I'm pretty good at algorithms and translating them into whatever language, stack, architecture is best for the job.  I have made some pretty cool APIs and applications using Perl, PHP, Python (the one you're looking at now is Python's Django framework, and it's in its newborn state as I write this), Javascript, HTML5 and all that jazz. It's what I do though, not what I am.  At this point in my career (senior level), I'm somewhat cynical about it.  Those all-weekend pizza-beer-and-coding sessions are way in my past.  I'm just not that excited about it anymore.  It pays the bills, and I enjoy it as a job. 

In my free time, I like to commune with nature, especially in and around water.  When I was a kid, my mom used to tease me about "contemplating my naval," and it's funny because that's really what I most enjoy, just scrolling through my internal narrative.  That's what I like about swimming; when I'm underwater, nobody and nothing can interfere with my train of thought.  

I sometimes wonder if anyone has an original thought anymore, wrapped up as we are in our "social media" feeds, regurgitating the latest hashtag or meme.  Everyone being outraged at the hot issue du jour or amused by the lastest cute video is so creepily hive minded, and I'm guilty of it myself.  The Internet has turned into an incredibly shitty thing over the past 10 years or so.  Sorry.  That's how I see it.  It was way cooler when people made their own blogs and linked to each other's blogs.  All these corporate AI-curated "feeds" suck.

But I digress, as usual.  I'm not perfect.  I know it.  But, damn it, at least I try.

Music has always been important to me.  I play guitar, write songs, and love to sing.  I wish people sang more, campfire or rowdy pub-style, but karaoke will do in a pinch. 

Travel is great.  It's not a small world. It's an enormous and breathtakingly beautiful world!  I love it more than words could ever express.

And so on and so on...

Anyway, about that blank in the title, I guess if I had to fill it in succinctly, it would go something like: above all, a pretty cool dude.

fractal